Omni Los Angeles Hotel

The Omni Los Angeles Hotel is downtown LA's cultural bunker in more ways than one. For starters, its located like a WWII machine-gun turret on top of South Olive Street's Bunker Hill. Secondly, said bunker is supposed to a strategic location, with a birds-eye view of the surroundings, and easy access to everything important in the neighbourhood - The box-like Omni has a pretty decent view of the entire area and is within walking distance to everything that has anything to do with art or culture in downtown Los Angeles (worth visiting, i.e.).

Speaking metaphorically, the Omni houses an inordinate number of art and theatre lovers at any given time, and these cultural stormtroopers fan out every evening to conquer the nearby enemy forts like the Museum of Contemporary Art, the L.A. Music Center, Walt Disney Concert Hall, and the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels. Having laid these cultural camps to waste with their ponderous opinions and sissy sensibilities, our dashing stormtroopers then return to the Omni base camp late at night for rest and supplies.

Lastly, the Omni is just a short drive from LAX, in case the sissy army has to beat a hasty retreat out of LA because of some percieved slight (You have no idea how competitive the art world is). If all that was Greek to you, just ignore it. Sometimes I get these flights of metaphoritis, and if writing bad metaphors was a crime, I would probably be doing a long stretch as a serial offender. The only things worth any use in all that fancy prose are that the Omni Hotel is centrally located at Bunker Hill and a lot of theatre goers prefer to stay here. Lets move on to an investigation of why aforementioned sissies actually love this place, location notwithstanding.

Its a well known fact that these artsy types have oversized egos and love to be treated like they're God's own gift to the common rifraff, even if their own mothers have problems remembering their names. And the Omni slyly takes full advantage of this weakness, and bends over backwards to make their guests feel like royalty, with a lot of pampering and the staff scurrying about fulfilling your boneheaded demands which would make even your ever-so-loving mother come after you with a meat cleaver, had you perstered her in the same way that the staff at the Omni are subject to.

To boot, the Omni offers services and amenities and spacious well-equipped rooms and can be considered to the standard bearer of Los Angeles family hotels. And then some. The list of amenities include an outdoor heated swimming pool, full service spa, lounge, restaurant, fitness center, concierge, business center, 24 hour room servie and an on-call physician, laundry & dry cleaning services, complimentary car transport for any location within a 3 mile radius, and last, but not least - The Omni Kids Program. The restaurant mentioned above is named Noe, and its become quite a big hit, with an appealing mix of American cuisine tinged with an oriental flavor.

The 453 guest rooms and suites at the Omni are elegantly refined, airy, spacious and pleasing to the eye, designed to appeal to an upscale and urban mindset, with television with on-demand movies, wi-fi, floor to ceiling windows offering sweeping views of Bunker Hill or California Plaza Watercourt, coffee maker, stocked refreshment center, hair dryer, iron & ironing board, in-room refrigirator and a complimentary copy of the Los Angeles Times.

If you book a Club Room (slightly bigger than the other rooms), you also get access to the Club Lounge, a free continental breakfast, evening cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Room rates start at $269, with the Club Room clocking in at $309. A Business traveler room with special add-ons like a workdesk goes at $289 and a Junior suite which could double as family accomodation at $359.

Info: 251 South Olive Street Los Angeles CA 90012; (213) 617-3300