WWW - Wretched Writers Welcome

"It was a dark and stormy night...Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. "

Sign me up. Pronto! The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

There's only one thing that could make this post any better. You got it. here's the past winners:

The camel died quite suddenly on the second day... Gail Cain, San Francisco, California

The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast... Steven Garman, Pensacola, Florida

The countdown had stalled at T minus 69 seconds when Desire... Martha Simpson, Glastonbury, Connecticut

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two... Patricia E. Presutti, Lewiston, New York

Read the full entries here.

Hey, I can do a lot worse. Without trying.

And, here's one more feature writer who's been reading The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest, and makes ample use of their tag-line to heap coal on the wretched writers of memos and e-mail.

In other news, a virtual class for writers taught by bestselling author Bonnie Hearn Hill drew a near-capacity classroom of participants from California, Colorado, Texas, Arkansas, and as far away as Australia.

Pastor Harley Todd does a very good job of convincing readers that the writers of the Bible were divinely inspired.

Freelance Jobs 6th Dec

Contract instructional designer wanted. Telecommute and freelance. You know there's a big market for logo and webpage designers. elance.com is choc-a-bloc with contracts for designers. Maybe this needs a seperate post. Anyway, click here.

Internet research gig. Something to do with record labels. All I know is that you need to be able to google. So click here.

Parenting mag looking for article writers. $20 per. If you're busy parenting, do you have the time to write articles? And if you're done with it, why would you write articles about it to relive the horror? Anyway, click here.

Get paid to blog? Well...I really don't like ads which hide their contact details. Still, click here.

Article writers wanted. Click here.
Freelance copywriter wanted. Nice gig. If you can get it. And do the job. Click here.
Home improvement blogger wanted. Click here.
Real estate copywriter needed. Click here.
Need internet savvy blogger. Huh? Never mind. Click here.

Transcription gig. This is what I call a real transcription job. No frills, no fancy forms to apply and no hoops to jump through. Can you do the job? Read the ad. If you can type and understand the data format, you got it. Click here.

Get paid to blog about New York . Freelance and telecommute. Catch? Payment based on performance...I think. Click here.

Senior copywriter for social networking site. Every year, we have a new myspace. It's being taken to a level where we now have a social networking bubble inside the net bubble. Click here.

Want to write weekly articles about "government jobs"? Click here.
VOIP company looking for copywriter. Click here.

Passion Writers

I'm not talking about ultra-trashy romance novels. I'm talking about writing with passion. Clever manipulation of words does not evoke a response. But if there's something written with passion, with heart and soul, it does not matter if it doesn't rhyme or if there's a comma in the wrong place.

While writing for this post, I was trying to think back, as to when Iraq last evoked strong feelings inside me, and why. It was sometime, early this year. The writer? Paul Lewis Hackett III. He was being swiftboated out of the Dem congressional primary race in Ohio. That one day, when I think back to it, made it crystal clear that there are indeed two Americas. One which is fighting the war, and one which isn't. One is living in Mars and the other on Venus. The crowd fighting the war, understands the reality and it chokes their heart, when they see the coffins lining up at Dover. To the rest, it's simply politics as usual. War going badly? Use it as a club to hit the President on the head. Iraq about to turn a corner? Call the Democrats 'cut and run girly boys'.

Paul Hackett, to me and many others, was a living symbol of the war realists. Others being Jim Webb and Colin Powell. See their writing. Well, maybe we best leave out Jim Webb, whose writings are, umm..., somewhat colorful, to say the least. Anyway, what I mean is that their prose is dripping with the reality of their experience and the passion of their feelings.

"Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership." - Colin Powell

What does that tell you? He cares.

"As you know, you have to go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you want." - Donald Duck ( Rumsfeld gave this reply to a soldier, of all people. )

What does that tell you? He doesn't.

Rumsfeld's quote is smart, short and witty. Powell's quote, long-winded and without any catchy phrases. Only difference is, behind Powell's quote is a well of emotion, indicating his strong feeling and concern for the welfare of all the kids who fight America's wars. Guess who's the better writer?

Write with your heart and soul. Write only when you feel strongly, and you have a need to write about it. If you have no feelings about a subject, do not write. Writing is a form of expression. If you have nothing to express...

Morality Jerks

Headline: Lesbian writer expecting baby with partner. News? Maybe....
Headline: Mary Cheney expecting baby with her partner. News? Maybe...
Headline: Groups mixed on Mary Cheney's pregnancy. News? You bet!

The New York Times weighs in..."Mary Cheney, the daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, is expecting a baby with her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe...Focus on the Family, an influential Christian group that has provided crucial political support to President Bush, released a statement that criticized child rearing by same-sex couples."

So what's the news? That a lesbian writer, who happens to be the VP's daughter, is having a baby with her partner? Nope. It's the reactions. The accusations, counter-accusations and quotable quotes from groups for and against same sex couples.

And what's the best part about this whole new hoopla? Journalists will be able to dredge up and quote the whole kerfuffle over John Kerry's comments about Mary Cheney during the 2004 election debates. And all this just after the mid-term election coverage is cooling off and the holiday stories are yet to begin. Perfect for a slow week. It's going to be plastered on cable, the blogs, MSM in-depth stories and experts weighing in. And what's it all going to be about? Mary Cheney? Nope. It's going to be morality jerks vs. leave us alone jerks. Get your popcorn now!

Freelance Jobs 5th Dec

Need writer to interview entrepreneurs here.
Mortgage writer wanted here.
Another mortgage blog writer needed here.
Comment: This is one thing most bloggers know about. Why? Cause we're broke! And deep in hock. But relax. It's all under control. Bloggers rarely let reality intrude into their secure cocooned world.
Need marketing person with good writing skills here.
Writer for computer repair franchise website wanted here.
Freelance copy writer needed here.
Website ad writers needed here.
Online content editor wanted here.

Book writer looking for press release writer here.
Comment: The guy can write two books, but he does not know how to write a press release? Gimme a break.

Keyword (SEO) writing needed for medical website here.
Science blog looking for paid bloggers ( blogger job ) here.
Diet blogger? Click here to get paid for a review.
Ghost writer for a teen book with publisher connections? Click here.
Video transcription gig. Click here.
College term paper writer needed ASAP. Click here.
Telecommute translators and interpreters needed. Lotsa languages. Click here.

Gen Art seeks contributors. Paid. Regularly. Where do I sign up? Click here.

Are you a political blogger who spends all his time expressing your outrage and bitter partisan rants, without getting paid for it? Wanna get paid hourly? To write about your political opinions? Click here.

Seeking freelance writers. Payment? $100-$200 per story. Could even be $1000. Huh? Click me.

Data Entry Work

Is there data entry work available on the net? I get this question a lot. Yes, there are data entry jobs available on the net. You can become a data entry typist. Where are these jobs, and how do I apply for them?

Craigslist data entry jobs - This is a list of craigslist data entry jobs, which is constantly updated as google updates it's search listings for craigslist. You should, however, have the sense to know which of these give you real data entry work, and which ads are marketing junk.
TJobs.com data entry jobs - Tjobs is the first and probably the best source for telecommuting jobs. I used to get work from this site when freelancers were as rare as bald eagles. The site is absolutely genuine, the employers pay on time. Only one small problem. You need to pay TJobs.com a fee to be able to apply for the jobs. Your call.

Other than these two, the one way you can get a data entry job is by contacting companies who are providing data entry services. Problem is, most of these companies are based in India. Even if they are based in the U.S.A., they still might be outsourcing their work to a contractor in India. There's precious few who are based in the U.S.A. and hire employees locally. Telecommuting employees. Here's one example of such a company:

Lake data center Inc. - Unlike many other data entry services, Lake Data Center Inc. is an American owned and operated data entry company.
What's our formula for success? The answer lies in our employees.....Send em an email. Beg for a job. Say you're the best data entry typist in the western hemisphere.

You want to find more companies like Lake data, do a google search. You can also get data entry contracts at freelance markets like elance.com, guru.com and freelanceworkexchange.com. However, the bids on most of these contracts are ridiculous. There are people from all over the world applying for the same gigs, and it's all open bidding. It's like getting into a mud fight. You can beat them, but you sure don't feel like a winner at the end of the match....

Freelance Jobs 4th Dec

Creative writers and content producers wanted here.
Comment: Job location:- San Francisco or Madagascar. LOL. Just kidding. It's telecommuting. But in a lot of ads, telecommuting is not really ok, in the sense that maybe the employer wants to see you for an interview or weekly meetings or maybe job's open only if you're a US citizen. Not so this one.

Technical recruiter needed here.
Transcription gig. Tanscribers wanted here
Online advertising copy witer needed here.
Looking for data entry typists for a data entry project here.
Part-time telecommuting editors needed here.
Freelance medical writers sought here.
Online writers & bloggers needed here.

A few posts back, I blogged about buzz and how to create it for your book. Hugh Tranter, writing for the Sydney Morning Herald, makes much the same point. "The literary world has been overrun by spin doctors and advertising gurus...The hype is inescapable. Just look at the back of your potential purchase. Words like "masterpiece" and "compelling" are thrown around like confetti. The reader becomes a sceptic soon enough when the book turns out in fact to be a magnum opus of unreadable rubbish. Similarly, you are left to wonder at the remarkable times we live in when there are so many literary geniuses alive all at once - more, it seems, than in the rest of history put together."

True. Sad, but true.

Quote This

I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again, says Oscar Wilde. And Richard Curtis says that most writers can write books faster than publishers can write checks. Add to that the dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he's given the freedom to starve anywhere, says S.J. Perelman. To sum it up, there is probably no hell for authors in the next world -- they suffer so much from critics and publishers in this, says C. N. Bovee.

So, ask(s) google, why write?

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you've got something to say, says F. Scott Fitzgerald. Also, there are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second, that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings, says Quentin Crisp.

So, ask(s) google, how to write?

I conceive that the right way to write a story for boys is to write so that it will not only interest boys but strongly interest any man who has ever been a boy. That immensely enlarges the audience, says Mark Twain. In other words, either write something worth reading or do something worth writing, says Benjamin Franklin.

Ok. Cut. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to write a few paragraphs when you can't use your own words? I had no friggin idea plagiarism would be so difficult. In fact, this is the best punishment I can think of for anyone caught stealing someone else's writing. Make him write a short story without using his own words...There is a plus side, though. You can't call this an amateur writer's work. Take that!

News Roundup 4th Dec

Women writers share desires in new anthology
"What women want and how they write about it is the subject of a new anthology by Australian female writers to be launched in Melbourne this week."

In short, it's a bunch of female romance writers talking about their love lives, or lack thereof.

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Writers offer modern takes on classic myths
"A chorus of authors is putting a contemporary spin on such classic mythology as Odysseus' perilous journey and Theseus' battle with the Minotaur.
Put these bite-sized but meaty musings on the shelf next to your translations of Homer and consult one the next time you undertake a journey, are betrayed, experience the loss of your powers or find yourself in the therapist's office once again addressing the question of why you persist in that self-destructive behavior."

First of all, that's called copyright infringement. Second, since when did Homer Simpson have to be translated? Well, maybe sometimes, when he's screaming....Loss of your powers? Just finish watching Superman, huh? As for the therapist....

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What is a freelance tourist? The Jamaica gleaner has the lowdown on these new mutant variety of freelancers called freelance tourists. Only one question. How many of these freelance tourists write for a blog? A travel blog...

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The Pennsylvania State College has a new article on "The Art of Freelancing: Finding Markets"
"Since I’ve been freelancing, friends, family, and people I interview ask me how I find the markets I work with. Well, they don’t ask me quite like that. It’s more like, “Do magazines come to you and ask for articles, or do you send them the article?”
The answer is actually complicated....Secondly, the answer to whether the editors come to me or I go to them is yes and no. "
I have no doubt she's a successful freelance writer. But this one article she screwed up.

The power of prediction

Your goal, as a writer? That people read your writing, think about it, and respond with their thoughts. There's something in the human psyche which produces a deep wonder at the merest mention of a prediction. When people see a prediction, it makes them think. Is this guy right? Is there some logic behind this? And more importantly, from a writers point of view, it makes the reader think about the issue at hand. Which, in today's grabage bin of an internet, is a talent not given to many writers.

On 19th Feb 2006, when the Novemeber congressional election races were just mentioned in passing in the news, I read a column by George Will in the Washington post, which focused on the gubernatorial race in Ohio. Read the entire column. You'll understand what I mean.

What do I read on the net? Technical howto's, news and politics. Nothing else. Believe me. The rest of it, I just give a cursory scan. Neither do I read, nor do I remember. It's just so much marketing junk by copy writers. Question is, is your writing junk, or a thought provoking analysis of some issue which is of importance to readers?

The elements of a thought provoking piece of writing are

• A short, but accurate description of the issue at hand.
• A couple of paragraphs, at least, of the merits of your argument, supported by facts.

• The prediction. This is what makes the reader think again, go back to the top and start reading the whole thing again. By the time he reaches the prediction again, he'll be impressed with your writing and thinking, which increases the chance of a response. In short, the prediction is an indirect call for action.
  
  And, if by a miracle, you turn out to be right, well, that's a bonus and the reader is going to remember where he first read about it and he's going to keep coming back for more thoughtful analysis and predictions.

Global Icons of Loserdom

What's the keyword in marketing today? Buzz. If you can get people talking about it, you have a winner. Even if it means making a complete fool of yourself, having a product, service or work of labor which is total crap and worse yet, if you're a global icon of loserdom.
Steven Levy, writing for Newsweek, discusses the internet's unwitting stars, though in a different context. Still fun, though.

Take for instance, the recent O.J. Simpson flap, which had eBay bidders in a frenzy. I mean, I would give an arm and a leg to have people outbid each other in the thousands on eBay for something which belonged to me. Not that I envy OJ, but I do envy the bidding frenzy. "OJ Simpson making thousands on eBay".

Another fine example would be Ashlee Simpson's lip sync fiasco. She got ridiculed the world over. There's been tons of ink spilled over the incident, viral videos on the net and even sites created and maintained just to keep the memory alive. She got more fame in those few seconds of videos than she ever possibly will in her entire career. And she's no where near her more illustrous sibling, Jessica Simpson, in terms of hottiness or talent.

Question: How does one cook up this buzz? Answer: You don't cook it up. Stuff happens. However, what you can do is throw out a few hooks, and hope that someone takes the bait and starts a buzz. Might be enough to give you and your product a moderate chance for success and some much needed exposure. Course, the big players, like Janet Jackson's infamous wardrobe malfunction incident proves, have the platform to knowingly create a buzz. Let's get down to specifics. What can you do?

Promoting a book? Create a small mockumentry, yeah, that's right. Make a small video, mocking, or making a laughing stock of of your own book, and upload it to Youtube. Send it over to the cable channels, and hope that a few of them pick it up. Make yourself available for interviews. Contact book reviewers, and forward the video and a copy of your book to them. Something's gotta give, if you keep plugging it.

The human brain is a funny thing. No one will remember even the name of your book if a television show host talks about it. But show the audience a video, and there's a bell ringing inside everyone's head which says Video->cool->save, upload and share with friends->buy the book.

Freelance Jobs 3rd Dec

Here's today's freelance jobs:

Search engine optimization ( SEO ) article writers wanted here.
Web content writer needed here.
Greeting card copy writers wanted here.
Writers needed for internet website ( web content writers ) here.

Web copywriter ( SEO ) wanted here.
Comment: It's funny how these jobs appear in a bunch. The other day there were four ads for political writers. Now it's raining web content copy writing jobs.

Ancient history text fact-checker wanted here.
Comment: Should be in Lara Craig's list, uhh...sorry. That's Croft.

Help with book title and get paid $100 here.
Acquisitions editor for biomedical journal wanted here.

Telecommuting transcribers needed here.

What is common between exchange rates, stock exchange information, temperatures, real estate prices and freelance jobs? RSS feeds related to the aforementioned are all rejected by a certain RSS feed directory. Why? Seems they expire. Yes. Job listings do expire. So I add new listings. Every friggin day. But it's not good enough. My feed is rejected and stays rejected. Have to add that the company was very professional and courteous when I contacted them. Best thing was that replies were immediate. I always put a virtual tick mark in favor of someone who replies promptly. It's good business and good etiquette. Besides, their website taught me to put a meta tag into the site header to let bots know about your RSS feed. So thank you.

News Roundup 3rd Dec

Chip Ballard, writing for Sun-Herald.com is exploring "why writers write":

"Ask yourself what you would do if you knew you would never be published. Would you still write? If you are truly writing for the art of it, the answer will be yes. And then, every word is a victory."

True. True. Ask any blogger...

"During the years he spent in prison, French novelist Jean Genet wrote on the only paper he could get, toilet tissue. One day guards found his work, which would have amounted to hundreds of pages, and all his toil met a cruel fate not uncommon to toilet paper. He began again, rewriting from memory what was destroyed."

Ouch! Talk about your writing literally being flushed down the toilet...

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The New York Times takes a look at how corporations are adjusting to telecommuting.
"Still, more and more managers are being asked to manage faraway employees. Telecommuting becomes more common every year: about 13 million corporate employees in the United States will telecommute more than eight hours a week in 2008, compared with 6 million in 2000, according to Gartner, the research firm based in Stamford, Conn.

Virtual meetings involving several people can be tricky to arrange, particularly when employees are in different time zones. Some managers wind up talking late at night to employees in Asia and early in the morning to those in Europe."

Note: If you have telecommuting employees, hire managers with insomnia.

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Bryan Appleyard, writing for The Times, U.K., reviews the book 'Against the day' by Thomas Pynchon.
"After nine years, the publicity-shy American novelist has produced a new epic - but, on closer examination, does he deserve cult status?"

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Writing the Landscape of your Mind

There are method writers, who choose a topic, dig deep into it and churn out the piece. Then it's on to the next topic. The second camp of writers actually paint the landscape of their minds onto paper. These are the writers whose writing is an outpouring of their mind and thinking and experiences. These may be autobiographies or thinly disguised fiction, but their writing essentially flows from their life and surroundings. Let's dissect both the method writers and the mind writers.

Writing the Landscape of Your Mind
"All one needs is pencil, paper, a block of time, and the perseverance to work on a continuing basis. The audio presentation allows the audience to hear the author's ideas in her own encouraging, relaxed style. Recommended for libraries with writing programs."

By Natalie Goldberg ( Audio Cassette )

Natalie Goldberg is the finest example of the second camp. She practises what she preaches. Her writing, if you have read any of her books, would make a self-respecting method writer drown in shame. Point is, there is no method. She writes and teaches writers how to write from the soul. And her writing is a reflection of her life. She brooks no conflict, no hypocrisy anywhere in her writing. To her, it's just a conversation she's having. What she does in life is teach writers how to write. And that's what her books are about. Once you understand the concept, it looks unbelieveably simple. No more writers block, no more agonizing over hypens and framing sentences. No more AP guide. Throw away all the writing guides. Just concentrate on pouring out your mind. There's one small catch. If you lead a dull and dreary life, will your books be interesting?

Method Writing

The Snowflake Method for Writing a Novel
"I claim that that's how you design a novel -- you start small, then build stuff up until it looks like a story. Part of this is creative work, and I can't teach you how to do that. Not here, anyway. But part of the work is just managing your creativity -- getting it organized into a well-structured novel. That's what I'd like to teach you here. "
By Randy Ingermanson

A few points to be noted here. No writer can escape the creative process, and Randy in the article above makes the point. With method writers, who write fiction, mystery, politics, history or any subject about which they have very little or no personal experience with, getting the creativity flowing becomes even more difficult. And that is the crux of the issue. I'd rather read a book about whales from a guy who's actually had something to do with whales. Even fiction writers spend years researching their characters and situations by actually immersing themselves in the same situations. You can learn how to write a sentence and which words to use and which ones to leave out, but you can't learn about people and characters and nature and physcology by sitting on your bum.

I'm firmly in Natalie Goldberg's camp. Writing is essentially an art. Which needs creativity. Which needs you to pour out your mind. If you compromise that art with method writing, maybe you can become a good writer. Even a successful writer. But you never will be a great writer. Because your writing has an empty hole where there should have been a soul.

Freelance Jobs 2nd Dec

If you want to know whether or not you should work at home, how you can do it, what kind of jobs are available, what tools you need and what companies you can possibly apply to, all you need to do is click here.

Only one question. How on earth do you write a magnum opus like that? She's good!

Webpronews has all the dirt on the latest scandal involving the google bot. Johnston county officials in North Carolina took out a restraining order against the poor hapless bot. Seems the frisky bot slipped into a few places it should have stayed away from and was handed a restraining order.

Here's today's freelance jobs:

Business feature writer wanted here.

Writer looking for a personal assistant here. This job isn't telecommute. She needs someone to do shopping for her. Reason I list it is, well, take a look at the ad...

Wireless company looking for a copy writer here.
Translators needed here.

Seeking branding freelancers here.
marketing agency looking for writers, graphic artists and proofreaders here.
B2B directory publisher seeks content editors here.

Freelance U.S. Customs writer wanted here.
Freelance BIS writer wanted here.
Comment: Reckon the above two ads are from the guy guy, so if you're applying, might be a good idea to lump them together.

News Roundup 2nd Dec

The New York Times weighs in on NaNoWriMo, and screws up right in the first sentence.
"The secret to writing a novel in a month is just to do it — and it’s a good idea to accept from the start that, barring miracles, it will be very, very bad."
So, I take it none of these novels is going to make the New York Times best seller lists, right? I'm gonna keep a watch on this, and if ever one of the novels written from start to finish during this month makes it to the list, the grey lady is toast.

Australia neglecting its own writers, says The Australian.
"Senior academics claim a new cultural cringe is infesting our universities and encouraging the neglect of Australian literature."
Cultural cringe? Infesting? Add that to my vocab.

Is freelancing under attack from Europe? The UK Contractor thinks so.
"Fears were raised this week that plans tabled by the European Commission could result in a directive to restrict freelancing and self-employment in the UK."
Impose sactions against Iran? Nope. North Korea? Nope. Trade sanctions against China? Nope. Poor, hungry and impoverished freelancers? Bring em on! Such bravery!

Blogging to the bank

I am not talking about building, promoting or making money from a successful blog. I'll let you know if and when I do that. I'm listing here, and of course blogging about, a few pay per blog post markets, where you can log in everyday, find new topics to blog about, and which pay you anywhere between $2 to $10 per post.

But before I list the markets, and you get all hyped up, a few points you might want to think about if you're considering paid or as it's better known, pro blogging.

1. Google CEO Eric Schmidt, talking about blog readership, says that, as on date, an average of 1 person reads a blog. Just confirms my suspicion that I'm talking to myself, and my visitors are extra-terrrestrials who access google from space.
2. If you look at the financial viability of even the biggest of blogs, it's pretty clear that blogging, as a career, is not the smartest way to put yourself, or your kid, through college or take out a mortgage for that dream house you wanted. At least not the way it is today.
3. And there's a catch. Monetizing your blog or posting comments on a blog which you get paid for is fine. So long as you don't cross the line and post about goods or services which might be misleading or against your own beliefs. And this is where the catch comes in - If you strictly apply this rule, that cuts out nearly 70% of advertisers.

On to the markets:

Get paid to post:

Know More Media - Seriously good gig. Believe me. The guy who manages it is a pro and he knows what he's doing. If you can land yourself a paid blogging position with them, it might keep you busy at least in the near future.
eefoof.com - Based on your content's traffic, you will earn a percentage of eefoof.com's ad revenue! Why am I listing this? Because unlike other adsense monetized networks, this one does not require you to have a topic based blog. You just post hip and cool videos and pics and watch the cents roll in. You won't get rich doing this, but it all adds up.
Craigslist.org - Probably the best way you can find a short term blogging gig. Has blog posters wanted ads almost every week and there's a good chance you'll get at least one of the jobs.
Creative Reporter - Again, you can select a wide variety of blogs, and submit links, articles, or write about anything you want. You won't get money, but you might get traffic to your own blog.

Here's a list of blog networks. How is this list going to help? You go to each network, check if they have any ongoing social welfare program to feed hungry bloggers, and if they're not, then you send them an email asking if they're willing to feed a hungry blogger.

Finding advertisers for your own blog:

ReviewMe.com - Get paid to review services and Web sites that are of interest to your readers, and reap the benefits of conversation with advertisers.
Performancing.com - Performancing Partners offers publishers a new, smart way to get paid for blogging.
PayperPost.com - Get paid for blogging. Write about web sites, products, services, and companies and earn cash for providing your opinion and valuable feedback to advertisers.

And that's besides Google's adsense or the new Yahoo publisher network beta program.

To wrap it up, you can indeed make money blogging. How much and how depends on what you know, what kind of a person you are and how much time you are willing to devote. Blogging is more dependant on your personality than other online businesses or jobs, so this might be a good time to take in some personality development tips.

News roundup 1st Dec

Cataloguing Caroline: Preston delves writers' worlds
"Is this Charlottesville's secret writers' club, where writers marry writers, go to the movies with writers, and figure out over dinner how they're going to kill off a tiresome character?"
Afraid I lost the plot a couple of paragraphs after the aforementioned one....

Bringing it all back home
"Envelope stuffing is for suckers, but there are lots of legit work options that hit where you live."
Aaack! They go on to list employers and companies who're paying work at home moms. Now these employers are gonna be flooded by people looking for work at home jobs, and soon, we'll all be fighting for pennies. Trust the NY Post to stab freelancers in the back.

Writing a wave
"I knew the island like the back of my hand from hiking, hanging out, driving all over it....Kaiser pursued the idea of writing about Acadia National Park and Mount Desert Island. Before heading to the West Coast after graduation, he spent the summer and fall methodically exploring the island. In 2000, he spent his own money to publish "Acadia: The Complete Guide," a glossy, comprehensive guide that he peddled from door to door at bookstores on the island and elsewhere. Not only did it sell, but it sold well...At last check, it was the No. 1 book for Acadia on Amazon.com"
Lesson: Write about something you know really well. You can wing it from there.

Freelance Jobs 1st Dec

Here's today's freelance jobs:

Freelance copywriter wanted here.

Horror script writer wanted here.
Comment: This ad should not really be here, but I just wanted to gab about it. Can you really make a film, a successful one, if you get your script from someone you hire on Craigslist? Don't studios and producers have their own list of script writers, whom they can rely on and call on anytime they want? I mean, there's a couple of reasons why they would hire someone off Craigslist. such as if they want to exploit some undernourished twit, or maybe not pay him at all...

Customer serice representatives needed here. ( CSR gig )
Erotic lit writers wanted here.
Blog posters and forum writers needed here. ( Blogger job where get paid to post )
Hack writer needed here.
Looking for funny authors here.
Ghostwriter needed here.
Comment: It's not strictly telecommute, but posting it anyway. Title of the book? "How to change your life in 90 days"
Lemme tell you how: You get a book ghost written and published in 60 days. You get the New York Times and the New York Post talking about it the remaining 30 days, and at the end of 90 days, you're a celeb yourself. End of story.

Freelance writers needed here.
Comment: Good luck.
Have excellent memory skills? Click here.
Internet marketing copy writer needed for writing killer web content pages. Click here.
Writer for writing trivia questions wanted here.
Website copywriters ( article writing gig ) wanted here.
Freelance blogger wanted. Apply here.

This year really wizzed by pretty fast. Guess time flows by faster when you really need 48 hours in a day. On the other hand, when you're lazing around on the couch, doing absolutely nothing, the day seems to drag on ever so slowly. I really need to laze around on the couch and waste some time. Sometimes you wander off the track, and you need a break to rearrange your priorities. Oh well, one more month...

Exploring Writers Block

Do I have writers block? Not really. It's all under control. So why would I write about it? It's a known fact that writers with writers' block write about writers block. Sorry. That was cheap. What did happen was that I stumbled into a shining example of how writers block turns a respected and nationally known journalist into an ultra-trashy trailer trash writer.

Michael Kinsley writing in the Washington Post, says "For the ultimate in solipsism, check out Twitter.com, a site where -- once you register -- you can answer the question "What are you doing?" At 7:47 am on Monday, for example, Lynda was going to get a glass of cold water.

This raises more questions than it answers. Did she get it? Was it cold enough? Tragically, we'll never know until someone starts a site about what you were doing before what you're doing now. Or possibly an interactive site about what you are going to do next after you finish doing what you're doing now. There could be multiple options. People could vote. Hey, someone call Google. We're rich!"


Please, Mr. Kinsley. The twitter.com example was good enough. But then you had to go and raise your foot high and shove it into your mouth. This is what is known as writers block.

It was darn hard to find these examples, but I reckon it was well worth it. Tells you what not to do, when you're staring at a blank screen and nothing comes out.



http://www.stephengallagher.com/writersblock.htm
"Writers' block is a difficulty of the proven practitioner, not the wannabee who can't. The kind of block I'm talking about is the kind that real writers get."

Every word he says, drips with the fact that he's suffering from writers' block and just wants to bloviate on it, to write something, anything. Notice how he seems to repeat what he's saying, couched in a different way.
Do not repeat and expand sentences.

http://www.7nights.com/asterisk/archive/2004/09/overcoming-writers-block

"The Web runs on good content, yet good content has to be written..."
"As well, I like to keep the content flowing here, even if at times I need to go off-topic or throw out a half-baked post."
"..I need to keep writing and to keep writing I need..."
"I love to write. When I began this site a few years ago I had no idea I’d love it so much."
"This is important."

He's repeating himself in the same sentence, again and again. Terminal stage.
If your site has nothing to do with writers' block, why mention it?

http://www.googobits.com/articles/1002-quick-tips-to-avoid-writers-block.html
"But how, you ask, does this affect me? Well, you ask possibly the greatest question ever asked since questions began."

Asking a question and then not answering it. Big mistake.

To wrap it up, I need to touch on a couple of issues. If you're thinking about writing a column on writers' block, then most likely you have the disease. Secondly, I mean no disrespect to Mr. Kinsley or any of the other renowned authors mentioned in this post. Mr. Kinsley also makes the point, in the same article, when he says that "There is something about the Web that brings out the ego monster in everybody.". I totally agree, and even though I have been mean and nasty, I'm hoping you'll be able to see the lighter side of it, specially the pic. Bears an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Kinsley.

Finally, I have a bit of advice for those with writers block. Read the news. Read magazines, read books. Read anything. Eventually, something will ring a bell deep inside. Trust me.

Writers news roundup 30th Nov

Writers keep holiday tales short, sweet
"Among this season's crop: The Christmas Pig by Kinky Friedman (Simon and Schuster, $15): A fable, set in an obscure kingdom, about the friendship between a mysterious, mute 10-year-old boy and a talking pig who is seeking a role in the manger scene."

Who is Kinky Friedman? Click here and here. Umm....Just a writer. Nothing special.

Basic Instinct author has gossip, advice for young writers
Among the revelations: "Sharon Stone was so disliked on movie sets that the crew on one of her early films urinated in a bathtub she was supposed to use in a scene."
His advice? "Write what you know, never write the sequel."

If George Lucas had followed that advice, he could have been counted among the legends. Course, he woulda been a couple of billion short...

Debut novelist Iain Hollingshead wins Bad Sex in Fiction Award
"Judges were moved by Hollingshead's evocation of "a commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles. His description of "bulging trousers" sealed the win, the judges said.
'Because Hollingshead is a first-time writer, we wished to discourage him from further attempts,' the judges - editors of Literary Review magazine - said in a statement. "Heavyweights like Thomas Pynchon and Will Self are beyond help at this point.'"

That's a bit below the belt, isn't it?

Freelance Jobs 30th Nov

Here's today's freelance jobs:

Transcriptionist wanted for book to MS word transcription gig here.
Looking for a ghostwriter. Click here for more details.
Technology news researcher wanted here.

Working writers wanted here.
Comment: The ad has me totally confused, so either I'm drunk, or the ad poster was drunk, or we're both drunk.

Blogger job! Get paid per post! Somebody wants a paid blogger here.
Comment: There's precious little blogging gigs available for pro bloggers. Sad, huh? But then, it's a free market, and you get paid for your talent and experience, and bloggers, um....never mind.

Copywriter & SEO specialist wanted here.
Comment: And then the ad goes on to day that they don't need a pro. Well, means I can still apply. What?

Writers wanted. Columns, reviews, features. Click here.
Comment: Nice gig.

Low budget, jungle based horror script needed here.
Comment: Ultra-trashy trailer trash!

Ezine looking for short fiction and poetry submissions here.

Author wanted here.
Comment: The OJ Simpson kerfuffle seems to have put Hollywood into muder mystery overdrive.

Data researcher wanted here.
$150 per report on the music industry. More details here.
Ghostwriters wanted here.
Data entry and web researcher needed here.

Just bumped into a marketing pitch disguised as a press release. If it weren't for the fact that some poor schmucks actually fall for this kind of gimmick, this would be kinda funny. "30+ Year Veteran Translator Unlocks the Door to Success on the Translation Market Scene for Frustrated Freelancers...Before anything else, they must first "install the Success Mindset Tripod in their brain..."

Hmm...Been been watching too many sci-fi movies, I guess.

Print On demand - Free

By the end of this post, you will be able to self publish, sell and recieve money for writing your own book, without having spent a dime. Writing this post for writers like me, stumbling and taking little baby steps towards a bit of fame and a slice of the book writers' pie. Not to mention the artistic satisfaction of having written and published a book.

First, I thought self-publishing help for writers was just a hustler's avenue to making a few quick bucks off of a few unsuspecting and naive writers. But as I dig into it, it looks like there's a genuine possibility that you could write a book and self publish it, by means of a system called "print on demand".


First you write a book. Are we done yet? No? Take your time. Done? Let's move on to how to get it published. C'mon. You can't seriously expect to learn how to write a book from reading some ultra-trashy trailer trash blog, can you? You want to write a book? Start writing.


Self Publishing for book writers. Step 1 : Print on demand :-
The concept is very simple.
1. You write the book.
2. You upload your book to a print on demand ( POD ) publisher.
3. You decide and set, with a few clicks, what sort of book you want and how it should look.
4. You promote, the publisher accepts orders and payments, prints and ships the book and sends you your cut.

And you're done. As simple as that. Here's a small list of publishers who offer freelance writers free print on demand publishing:

• CafePress - When a customer orders your book, we will produce it, charge your customer, ship the book, and handle the customer service using true print-on-demand technology.
  
• Lulu.com - Lulu.com lets you publish and sell print on demand books and eBooks, online music and images, custom calendars and books. Free self-publishing.

The two publishers above will not charge you anything. You write and promote, they print and you split the profits.

Secondly, there's the question of an ISBN number and bar codes for your book. No bookstore will stock your book unless you have them. Do the above mentioned companies print your books with an ISBN number and a bar code? Yes, they do. Do other POD publishers provide one? Check first.

Book Promotion :
So what exactly are you going to do, other than write your book? You promote and publicize it. How? There's two ways and you should probably be doing both.

The first and traditional method is the old fashioned way. Word of mouth. Submit your book to book reviewers and any and all sites, magazines and publications, both online and in print, which are willing to talk about your book.

The second method is to start an affiliate program for your book. For every person or webmaster who sends you a visitor, who then buys a copy of your book, you split the profits with your affiliate. Part profit is better than no-profit.

To wrap it up, this may sound nutty, but it's true. Print on Demand is also a trademark of Cygnus Business Media, Inc. Finally, here's a couple of great resoures for POD or print on demand.
An Incomplete Guide to Print On Demand Publishers
POD-dy Mouth

Freelance Jobs 29th Nov

Let's assume you're a writer. What's the meaning of the word 'obvious' ? Well, it's obvious, ain't it? Something which even a blind bat hanging upside down could tell. Apparently the Supreme Court of the U.S.A., endowed with the collective wisdom of the nation, is currently unable to tell us what exactly is the meaning of the word 'obvious'. The NYT has the whole sordid story.

Here's today's freelance jobs:

Transcriptionists wanted to transcribe congressional hearings here.
Comment: Holy cow, I'd give an arm and a leg for this gig. All I'd have to do is move to DC. Sigh!
Freelancer wanted for researching, writing copy and proofreading here.
Comment: Anyone got an apartment free near the Capitol? I want to move to DC pronto.
Centrist political movement seeks writer here.
Comment: Is living in a tent outside the White House gates allowed? If any of you wanna share my tent, let me know...
Freelance journalist for politics and policy wanted here.
Comment: Heard Karl Rove has a lotta free time on his hands nowadays. But then, he was fired from his policy post. So, maybe not....

Yoga blogger wanted here.
Looking for someone to do some internet research ( finding links ) here.
Children's poet / song writer wanted here.
Blogger Jobs available here.
Data entry typist wanted here.
Paid Blog poster wanted ( blogging gig ) here.
Magazine looking for freelance feature writers here.

Article writer needed here.
Comment: Be careful with this one, huh?

Academic freelance writers wanted here.
Mag looking for feature writers here.
English language arts specialist ( freelance ) wanted here.

Pseudo Journalism

Bloggers can't be journalists, in the proper sense of the word, which includes reporting, digging up news and verifying facts with interviews and requests for comments. Still, there's no reason not to behave like an ethical writer and follow the guidelines which news organisations follow, wherever possible.

In that pseudo journalistic spirit, I have sent emails to a trio of writers who are featured as exhibits in an article on writers' block. I'm hoping they'll reply, which will verify either my astounding intuition or my vivid imagination, depending on whether I'm right or wrong. That's a polite way of saying that I'm scared silly I'll be making an ass of myself, which I won't be if the writers reply back either confirming or denying my accusations. I'll scratch them out of the article, in all good faith, if they deny.

Good practise or chicken? You decide.

BTW, speaking about old vs. new media, "The California Supreme Court issued their ruling on Barrett v Rosenthal today which determined that web publishers are not liable for publishing material written by someone else and recovery for defamation must be sought from the original source only" according to www.blogher.com to which another female blogger, Michelle Malkin replies "Seems to me that some bloggers want to enjoy the benefits of MSM status (fighting for the same coverage as traditional journalists under shield laws, as in the Apple case), but avoid the consequences (getting sued if they re-publish defamatory material online)."

Also, a Kentucky lawyer who wants to blog about law comes up facing a unique problem. He needs to pay $50 to the "The Kentucky Attorney's Advertising Commission" every time he wants to make a post, because his posts and his blog are seen as "advertising for his practise". How about we apply this rule to all political blogs, huh?

A Glorious Disaster

Writing about what you want to versus what you need to is a conflict that bedevils many writers, yours truly included. What happens when you get the pig headed urge to write about something you're passionate about, even if you have little or no chance of making it a commercial hit? A glorious disaster.

Credit where it's due. This column by E.J.Dionne Jr. mentioned a book of the same name about Barry Goldwater's 1964 presidential campaign by J. William Middendorf II. Got me thinking about a few movies and albums which were awash with artistic genius, but commercial flops at the time, and then went on to become bestsellers when history proved them right. So I decided to dig into similar debacles in the literary world.

---

The Legacy By Sybille Bedford

This piece about Sybille Bedford in the New Yorker says "..She may have had too much fun, because she also spent many years not writing. Most of the long magazine pieces were bunched together in the nineteen-fifties and sixties. The novels came out haltingly. For that reason, and also because her interests were so widely dispersed, she is something of a loose piece in the literary canon..."

What it does not say is that her most acclaimed novel, The Legacy, was at first declared "dull" by her own publisher. It's been reprinted and has gone on to become a massive bestseller.

---

Ulysses by James Joyce
A trendsetter and path-breaking novel, it made waves as much for the literary content as for the controversy surrounding the obscenity in the book. The book, first published in Paris in 1922, and unavailable in English until 1934, has had a huge amount of influence on romantic writing and writers since it's publication.

---

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
Melville put in an intense amount of labor over the book, writing all day long, from 1850 to 1851. But the literary genius in the pages was a wasted effort and the book was a commercial flop. Only in the 1920's was the book rediscovered and took it's rightful place as one of the greatest novels ever written.

There is a common thread running across all three of the above mentioned authors, as well as notable personalities such as Orson Welles and Brigitte Fontaine, who went through a similar agony, of producing underappreciated masterpieces. All of them bucked conventional wisdom and led lives which, while entertaining to read about, no doubt caused a lot of pain and anguish to concerned parties. It's almost like all of them stood up and gave a middle finger to society at large, in the form of the masterpiece, and said, "Take that!" And That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is a glorious disaster.

Freelance Jobs 28th Nov

Only a couple more days to December. Which means the beginning of a long, drawnout depression. That's probably because of all the resolutions and the 'what happened in this year' roundups in print and television programming. Gets me thinking about what I did in the entire year and what I managed to accomplish - Squat. Time to hit the bottle. But before that, here's today's freelance jobs:

Politcal question writer needed
Comment: I take back the depression. Just remembered that 2007 and 2008 are going to be a total ball, with Hillary and McCain and Obama and Gore. It's going to be wonderful, to be able to dig up dirt on the high and mighty and splash it on the internet.

Internet content writer wanted
Mag calls for submissions from writers
Technical writer wanted
Researcher / Writer needed
Business contract writer

Writer needed
This is for Hollywood. If you apply, you're ultra-trashy trailer trash. See yesterday's 'writers news roundup' if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Celeb blogger wanted
Comment: If you're a blogger with delusions of grandeur....Just kidding. That's bloggers who blog about celebs.

Creative art writer wanted
Freelance proofreader / Copy editor

Fighting swords with pens

Article in Reuters Alertnet says "Khairallah feels that he lives in the shadows of foreign journalists, who often get accolades for articles that he really gathered the bulk of the information for. He feels unappreciated. He dreams of being a famous journalist one day, and of receiving prizes for his work.....

Before the war, Khairallah was getting paid as little as $5 per story and today he gets around $10 from local newspapers and $20 from international publications, but he did not want to disclose their names for security reasons. "I hope one day my name will be recognised, maybe when Iraq gets true democracy and press freedom becomes a reality and not a theory," he said."


Feel that tiny string tugging at your heart? That's the pathos of an unsung hero fighting the guns and bombs in Iraq with his pen. You're appreciated, Khairallah, by me and anyone who's reading this post. Not much, but best I can do at the moment...The poor idealistic chump is a ghost writer, for all the wrong reasons. He's not ghost writing because no-one wants to give him credit. He's ghost writing because he's scared to take the credit. Here's a list of Iraqi bloggers who, it seems, aren't as reticent about taking credit.

Related Links:
1. Council On Foreign Relations
2. Press in Iraq Gains Rights But No Refuge
3. World Press Review - Iraq in the International Press
4. Report: U.S. paying Iraqi newspapers
5. Committee to Protect journalists

Book Review : The Business of Changing the World

I haven't written a book review on "The Business of Changing the World" by Marc Benioff and neither do I plan to. Let's just say that I'm doing a review of a book review. Look, the review inspired me to make a decision to donate a part of my profits to charity. The fact that I don't make a profit made the decision easier, of course...


Quote from this book review by Tom Taulli on The Motley Fool says

"Throughout much of the book, Benioff has focused mostly on big companies. But he makes it clear that all companies should be involved in philanthropy.

That's what he did when he started Salesforce.com (out of his apartment). He innovated something called the 1-1-1 model, in which his company would donate 1% of profits, stock, and employee time to community efforts. According to Benioff: "People are here to do more than just make money -- they want to help make the world a better place during their time here." Interestingly enough, Benioff was also able to get Google (Nasdaq: GOOG) to adopt the 1-1-1 model."

Ok. So let's start the review of the review. What do I like about it? The subject matter. Great choice of book for a review. Secondly, the minute I bumped into the title, three things came to mind:
1. Bill Gates and his foundation.
2. Google and charity.
3. Bill Clinton and aids.
The book reviewer scored two out of three. And Clinton ain't strictly speaking a business, so let's give the book reviewer a pass on that one.

The book gives the reviewer a chance to focus on the personal history of the author, his involvement with big corporates and personalities and getting them involved in charity. Unquestionable hit. Big corporates and personalities involved in charity is a big draw, as we saw in the kerfuffle over Bill Gates and Warren Buffet's retirement plans ( Is there a book out on that yet? No? Why on earth not? ). And the reviewer can end off with a request for charity for his own company's philanthropic efforts. Unquestionable hit with his own editor.

Freelance jobs coming up in a few hours.

Writers News Roundup 27th Nov

Author David Gilmartin apologizes to Granite City after citing it as one of worst places in his novel "The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America". Article in St. Louis Post Despatch says "Gilmartin said the city was ideal for Steel mill employees, wife-beaters, potheads, ultra-trashy trailer trash, dirty half-dressed kids, obnoxious churchgoers, Pentecostals, high school soccer stars, hoosiers (and) derelicts."
Gilmartin better stay away from Granite City for some time. Some good points to take away though. We now have ultra-trashy trailer trash ( that's like super duper double top-secret ). And I now know what Pentecostals are.

British writers are better than LA counterparts says Neve Campbell. She's quoted in Fametastic as saying "They have some background in literature before they decide to come up with a story."
True.True. There's a lot of script writer wanted ads on Craigslist. That should teach Hollywood not to hire ultra-trashy trailer trash freelance writers off of Craigslist.

Check out this genre of novels called "Cook lit" novels. "Such novels meet two requirements: They feature at least one character who cooks, and they include recipes." says The Register Guard which has cooked up an article on this.

Save As Draft

Relax folks. Everything's under control. Iraq's not about to split up into three pieces. I'm serious. Not just channeling Baghdad Bob. I did an analysis of previous occupations of foreign territory by the U.S.A. Conclusion? Iraq is not lucky enough to get even a three way split. Bit more on that later...



Here's today's freelance jobs:

Novel writer wanted
Comment: They basically want someone to rewrite Romeo and Juliet with a few changes in location. Says on their website "...producing unique and quality films working with young new innovative thinkers..."
Web content writer wanted
Movie bloggers needed for blog posts
Copywriter wanted
Article writers wanted
Web content writer ( gardening )
Web content writer ( babies - cute ones )
Web content needed

I just had a few great ideas for articles, and I saved all of them as drafts. Which set me to thinking that this "save as a draft" thingy is probably the greatest innovation on the net since email and search engines.

To bloviate some more about drafts, there's a lot of squabbling going on over the draft. I'm a little confused as to exactly who wants to introduce the draft and who is oppposing it. Seems like a shifting sea of sand, which changes according to who's in power. President Bush started the war. Needless to say, he opposes a draft, so far. Bet you a brownie he'll be proposing one the day he's back in Texas, clearing brush and writing his memoirs. John Kerry accused the President of planning to introduce a draft during the 2004 elections. Now Dem Rep. Charles Rangel, who's been mooning about a draft for a few years now, wants to introduce legislation. The republicans are hopping mad and conservative bloviators are piling on Rangel. Question time : Do we need a draft? Are we going to get one? Who decides? Isn't this idea dead before it even takes off?

Well, depends on if we need a bigger force and if it is or is not possible by sending out recruiters to cajole volunteers into joining. If not....This again depends on how long we plan to stay in Iraq. If you're gonna cut and run, then there's not much drafting to be done, huh? So, ultimately, whether or not we need a draft or we're gonna get one, is not going to be decided by the White House, or by Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid, but by Baker and new def-sec Robert Gates. Which, BTW, means that after all the talk and all the brovado, Junior ( Bush 43 ) still needs to go to Dad ( Bush 41 ), to clean it up after it hits the fan.....

A Baghdad Bob like statement, if I may. Iraq is not about to split into three pieces. Why do you think there's two Koreas? Germany? Yougoslavia? Because we, umm..won, sortof. Whenever the U.S.A. achieves a pseudo victory, there's a split. If we lose, like in Vietnam, there ain't no split, but the bad guys take the whole cake. What do you think is going to happen in Iraq? A split or Vietnam II? Judging from this administration's track record, we'll be seeing Vietnam II somewhere in mid 2009 when the next President orders a withdrawal from Iraq. This is also going to the main reason that the Republicans are in for one more thumpin in 2008. So, if you're a conservative, might as well stay at home.

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock

Timeless title. Hope Time Inc. ain't got a trademark for Time. First I wanted to bloviate about Limericks, but a post about limerick writers wouldn't be much good without a limerick, huh? Then I got round to a darker subject. Time. Far as I'm concerned, there's always been time to write that novel next year. And that next year has been coming and going for nearly a decade.

There's always something more important - Money, career, family...Now I'm coming round to the concept that it's now or never. I have to write that book now, or I never will. If life is a mountain climbing expedition, then there's a bridge you cross, when you start feeling that you've crested the hill and you're on your way down. Um....you ever seen a bridge on the crest of a hill?

Anyway, I guess I passed that rhetorical bridge to nowhere some time back. The hourglass is less than half full and I can see the sand slipping down. How much time do you have before you can start a book writing career? Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock.....

Need help writing that book? Write a book in under 28 days flat!

Don't you want to leave behind you footprints in the sands of time? Besides it's NaNoWriMo ( National Novel Writing Month ). Start writing now!

Churning out a book ain't beans
For I'm broke and without means
Iraq's still burning
Clock keeps turning
I'm a cynic in mourning, searching for the innocence of my teens.

Finding Online Jobs

This is not a tutorial for earning money on the internet. This is a howto for telecommute freelancers to learn how to use search engine keywords to search for and find online freelance jobs which are in your field of expertise.

Yahoo! Hotjobs searches for the hottest jobs on the net for you.

The biggest problem on the net is that there's so much information that it's next to impossible to categorize and find exactly what you want. It's sort of like gold nuggets mixed into muck and you have to wade into the muck to get the gold. Using the right keywords can save you a heck of a lot of time and help you find the right job. Let's get down to specifics:

Do you type in "freelance writer jobs" or "writing jobs" or just "freelance writers"? No can do, Dickens. All these keywords just take you to the same resources and websites, such as this blog, which fleece the unsuspecting and naive freelance writer, which would be you. There's hundreds of thousands of writers looking at the same handful of writing gigs listed on these websites. That's not going to get you anywhere. So? Think. Think. Who needs freelance writers? Publishers and those who sell written matter to publishers!

Web content writer? Web content providers.
Book reviewer? Get your book reviewed.
Essay writer? Custom essays.
Ghost writer? Literary services.

Do I have to reach in and ring some more bells in your head? You don't search for say "hack writing jobs". You search for people and companies who publish or help publish your writing. If you're a translator, you search for companies who provide translation services. Ditto for transcription. You find these companies, check out their site to see if they have any available openings and then you send them an email describing yourself as an untapped genius waiting to be discovered. Even if they don't have an opening.

The one exception I would keep away from this list is for data entry typists. You don't search for companies who provide data entry services, cause they most likely won't be hiring you cause most of them are based in India or Brazil or Russia.....

Wouldn't this method apply to offline and fulltime jobs also? Most likely would. But how would I know? I haven't done a honest day's work in my entire life.

Freelance Jobs 26th Nov

Here's today's freelance jobs:

Writers wanted ( home improvement )
Personal finance writers sought
New magazine looking for freelance writers
Proofreader wanted for ebook

Earn money hanging out online
Comment: Just when I think the net couldn't get any dumber, they go and do something which TOTALLY REDEEMS THEM!
BTW, if you've seen Dumb & Dumber, you know what's the best part of the movie? Where Harry Dunne gets his tongue stuck on the ski lift. Totally gross.

ARTChic magazine looking for feature writers
Freelance entertainment reviewers
Website copywriter wanted
Freelance editor
Freelance copywriters

It's Sunday already, and I need to laze around and poke my head into the pillow with the TV on full blast and the pizza within reach.

The Ethics of Plagiarism..errr...Writing

Regis Behe, writing for The Evening Bulletin, bloviates on the ethics of writing. Focuses on plagiarism and out-right dishonesty among writers in particular. Inspired by the same plague, uhh...plagiarism, I'm quoting from the article:

"The Frey controversy was the impetus for "Can You Handle the Truth? Ethics in Writing," the theme of this year's 412: Creative Nonfiction Literary Festival. The event takes place today through Nov. 11 at various sites in Pittsburgh. Lee Gutkind, a professor of English at the University of Pittsburgh and the event's organizer, says there was a need to respond to the media frenzy that erupted after revelations Frey had distorted facts." - www.theeveningbulletin.com

Lemme tell you, Prof., the whole kerfuffle had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with Frey and his writing. What it did have to do with was Oprah. The fact that Oprah touted his book in the first place was the only reason that the whole thing boiled over and kept simmering for a long time. Anyway, you guys have fun at your conference.

I can't say the same thing about Kaavya Viswanathan, the Harvard student who lifted whole sections from Megan McCafferty's books. That little imbroglio was just a small symptom of a very deep illness, which is known as book packaging. Want to more about why a teenager got a $500,000 advance for her first book?
"The answer just might be found on the copyright page of 'How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life.' There it says: 'Copyright 2006 by Alloy Entertainment and Kaavya Viswanathan.'" - www.boston.com

I suggest you read the whole article, and let me tell you, the minute you finish reading it, any naive or idealistic hopes you may have of getting your manuscript printed based upon your talent as a writer will be dashed into tiny little pieces. That's reality for you. And a note to Prof. Lee Gutkind. If you are going to yak at your conference about writers and ethics, you might actually manage to do a bit of good, if you were to raise the issue of book packaging.